Thursday, March 30, 2006

Step Away From The Vehicle

At least once a week, someone parks a car outside my window whose car alarm goes off every time a pigeon shits. I am so very tempted to write a note saying, simply, "I strongly encourage you to adjust the sensitivity of your car alarm," and then leave it on the hood held in place with a brick. Would they get the message? Is that going too far?

Another one of my sick car alarm fantasies is a Lottery-esque scenario in which an alarm goes off after midnight, then all the residents of a block simultaneously emerge from their homes dressed in bathrobes and armed with crowbars or baseball bats (maybe a brick or two?), walk solemnly over to the offending car, pummel it for 30 seconds, and return to their apartments. Children, grandmothers, husbands, wives, everybody. All without a single word. I think they had an X-Files episode about that one, actually...

2 Comments:

Blogger Elizabeth said...

Lottery? nah-nee-soh-ray?

11:19 AM  
Blogger David said...

Hmm. My sister moves down to Chicago and starts talking nonsense? Fair enough.

11:35 AM  

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