D-D-Distractions!

Oooh, that heat's creeping back again. I can feel the humidity rising after a week of relative comfort; when it reaches that point where you can feel the sweat lazing atop your cheekbones, unable to evaporate, you know it's time to tie yourself to a tree and hold on tight. Even here at Cafe Grumpy, what I thought would be a 70-degree, 20% humidity haven is no more than 5 degrees cooler than the Land Beyond the Door, and I'm sitting right under the AC unit — come on, Bessie, give it your all, I know you can do it!

Every now and then, the Onion really hits gold with an article, especially considering matters of today's internet culture. Minutes ago, I glanced at a hard-copy version to see this headline: Wikipedia Celebrates 750 Years Of American Independence. Who knew that Chuck Norris incinerated the Stamp Act by looking at it, or that the White House was at one point painted black by funk-slaves? Hell, who needs real history anyways? It's more fun to make it up.

And for those of you who want to watch a video and laugh for a few minutes, (especially fans of Star Wars, blaxploitation, and James Earl Jones) go here.

Always my pleasure to take your mind off of things of consequence.