Sunday, May 14, 2006


It's a Friday. * And, dear readers, as Friday begs for levity, I shall dispense with the more contemplative posting I've been drafting since yesterday, and will instead attend to less consequential matters. As mentioned in my profile blurb to the right, it's all about the donut shop. This statement may submit slightly to hyperbole, but one cannot deny that it has become an irreplaceable thread in the tapestry of Greenpoint living. Possibly no other establishment is quite as deserving of ode than this place, and so I continue.

Muffins Donuts Coffee. This was the message adorning the old red awning in block white letters. As there was no other name conspicuously posted, we blessed it with the obviously-derived moniker by which it is known to this very day: MDC. When finally we did expose the shop’s real name, we were so sorely disappointed that I refuse to mention it here. For those of you whose curiosity is now tearing your insides apart, organ by precious organ, you can see for yourself, as the awning of yore has been replaced by a flashier substitute, bearing now the name that should have been forever banished to obscurity. Just take a walk down Manhattan Ave., it’s on the west side between Norman and Meserole, next to the drugstore.

Magda with donutsMDC is staffed with a host of charming Polish girls, including the beautiful and talented Magda, pictured to the left. They are equally adept at serving you your pastry and beverage of choice as they are at serving up a double-helping of sass, usually well-deserved, as well as choice Polish translations, such as for the inquiry: “Is that a donut in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” Green smocks are a requirement, some vestige of 30 years previous that seems to have endured, against all odds, much to the chagrin of those who must don them at the beginning of each shift.

Not much about the décor or layout seems to have changed in the last 30 years either, from the white Formica coating the countertops and donut display shelves to the spin-top stools lining the counter. There are 16 of them surrounding a counter shaped something like this: []__| |__|, with the [] being a donut case, and the lines representing seatable areas. Several years ago, they redid the floor, one consequence being that it’s now around 6 or 8 inches higher, and they simply reinstalled the old stools without adjusting the height. Thus, the countertop-to-stooltop distance is appropriate for older children and some midgets, but a bit uncomfortable for us Big People.

Do not assume for one second that the available edibles are limited only to muffins and donuts. Oh no. They offer quite the selection of baked goods, including those previously mentioned, bagels, rolls, cinnamon buns, and cakes. And I do believe they make the tastiest bacon-egg-and-cheese on a bagel in Greenpoint. In no way, though, do I mean to disparage the donuts, so beautifully displayed behind Magda. On the contrary; quality of donut here is superb, far superior to your run-of-the-mill Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme. My usual: two fried & cheese on a bagel, toasted, for first course, and a Bavarian creme éclair to round out the second, although sometimes I’m in the mood for a muffin instead.

Beware of the coffee. It succeeds only in inducing epileptic fits and greasing the bowels.

The deadliest donutAlthough quality is never an issue at MDC, wisdom of consumption is. Pictured to the right is the variety of donut I would choose if ever I needed a projectile suitable for knocking someone out cold, and all I had at my disposal only a variety of baked goods. A glazed, old-fashioned-donut shell of immense density (think depleted uranium) encases a deadly core of custard, which bursts forth through the top like an alien pod birthing some sentient blob. It’s got the size and heft of a shot-put ball, maybe even a little more mass. Incapacitation of subject can be achieved either by direct cranial impact, or forced consumption. I made it through almost half of one once and couldn’t move for the rest of the day.

As an honor to this wondrous establishment, Jon and I once proposed to spend an entire day eating one of everything. As it would be impossible for one to accomplish alone, it would have to be a group endeavor. We have yet to attempt such a feat, but when the day comes, you, dear reader, will be the first to know.

* Ok, ok, I know it’s not Friday, but I wrote most of this ON Friday, and I rather like the first paragraph. And so it stays.


Blogger chris g said...

I mean, you said it was a good doughnut shop. This place is now mythological to me. Can't believe I missed it.

I love the "Dear Reader" stuff. Isn't that a great device?

Thanks for the hospitality.

8:03 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Enough with the "dear reader" schtick. but please, more use of the phrase "BURSTING FORTH." all day every day. i demand that you incorporate it into every post henceforth.

1:21 AM  
Blogger David said...

wot, just 'cause it was your birthday an hour ago, you think you can get all uppity 'n stuff? Well, you got another thing coming.

c: we really shoulda grabbed a donut. my bad. next time!!

2:25 AM  

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