Sunday, May 21, 2006


Two events transpired last night that were deemed Worthy of Blog.

First, I somehow decided while drinking a bit of Wild Turkey, neat, that I didn't want to shoot the remainder, but instead just wanted to have a substantial sip. This resulted in an epic sneezecough, which propelled the entire volume of the sip-thus-far directly into my nasal cavity with enough force to strip paint. Have any of you ever sneezecoughed a good quarter ounce of distilled spirits into your tender nasal membranes? It feels about as good as brushing your teeth with steel wool. I thought the burning would take at least half an hour to subside, and prayed for a jar of nasal irrigation saline solution to appear beside me, magically or otherwise. Fortunately, after a couple minutes of awkward snorting and incessant schnozz-blowing, the pain and discomfort lowered to tolerable levels.

I would not recommend to anyone that you try this home. Although experiential learning perhaps leaves the strongest impression, it is through the wonder of language that we can let other people stick their hands in the fire and still understand the meaning of "burn" quite well ourselves.

Second, I had one of those classic, "New York's not infinitely large like you think it is!" moments. Anonymity, here, is treated as a given, and thus, taken for granted. Disappearance seems perfectly feasible; one thinks, "Why should I ever have to see anyone if I don't actively try to see them?" It's hard enough to see someone even if the both of you make a persistent effort. If, for example, a relationship heads south, it seems a reasonable expectation never to see the other again, provided there's no significant intersection of social circles or daily patterns. You can imagine my surprise, then, when I turned around and discovered that a girl I'd gone out with a couple times a way back was a guest at the wedding for which I was playing (coincidentally, a few moments before the Wild Turkey incident). I wouldn't say we went our ways on bad terms, we just didn't call each other. Though we never shared a moment of mutual acknowledgement, I did catch her pointing me out to a couple people.

A bit of an ass-chapper, the whole event. If I made a list of situations in which I would least like to stumble across someone I'd dated, even briefly, playing someone's wedding would probably be right there near the top. Thanks to that vapid movie of a few years back, those of us who occasionally perform at private events have enjoyed a fresh stigma branding. "You mean you went out with a wedding musician!?" Fuck you, Adam Sandler. No one wears those tuxes nowadays, we're not all old and bitter, and some of the bands don't suck.

Oh well. All in all, it was pretty entertaining. And just think, I could've been the caterer responsible for her table.

There you have it. In the last few days, these two things are about all that's happened in this life of mine that could possibly be deemed blogworthy. Chalk it up to hermit-like tendencies and general malaise. Don't you entertain any ideas that I've given up, oh loyal reader! I may have to recycle old material, or finish some partials, but, by Jove, the Blog shall persevere!

*roll inspirational soundtrack*


Blogger mfaizalzul said...

nice blog..:)

3:31 PM  
Blogger David said...

why thank you, random blog reader! come back anytime...

3:57 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

We want more! We want more! You're a blog tease, Dave. So go ahead and snort some more bourbon if you have to. It's gonna be a long week, and somehow reading about your misadventures makes me feel better about my own. I mean, sure I have to work late tonight, but at least I still have my sense of smell.

12:21 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

whatever happened to your heavy posting tendencies of yore? JUMP ON IT.

12:47 AM  
Blogger David said...

What's with the double-teaming, eh? Do you two know each other? I think NOT. Sometimes I have to, you know, go out there and bring home the bacon. Maybe I should see what kind of bacon those Google ads could get me on here, eh? How would you like THAT!? pthh...

1:09 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home